The Country of Others

"Through the scorching month of August, she sat on the concrete floor dressed in overalls, and made a dress for her daughter. Nobody saw how beautiful it was, nobody noticed the delicacy of the gathered stitches, the little bows above the pockets, the red lining. It was killing her, people's indifference to the beauty of things."

Leila Slimani, The Country of Others

The Country of Others talks about the life of a young Frenchwoman, Mathilde, in Morocco and her change from an innocent girl with ideal imaginations on romantic love, to a mother trapped by bitter reality with poverty, suppression and loneliness. The story was set in the 1940's and 1950's when tensions between French colonists and Moroccan natives became exaggerated, which led to Morocco's independence in 1956.

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I first encountred this book in a Paris bookstore, and the beautiful cover with a woman lying under an orange tree attracted me at first sight. But while reading in between the pages, I found the story quite heavy and felt sorry for Mathilde's struggle on her identities, her desire for freedom. She was longing to be appreciated, to be admired, to be cherished.

At one part, she had to cover her face and body, disguising as a native Moroccan woman, to avoid potential violence in the streets during unstable political times.

"Eye lowered and veil raised over her mouth again, she felt herself disappear and she didn't really know what to think about this. The anonymity protected her, even thrilled her, but she felt as if she were advancing into a dark pit, losing more of her name and identity each step, as if by masking her face she was also masking some essential part of herself."

The Country of Others, at a bookstore in Paris

This is my first time reading about Moroccan's cultures and lives during WW2, and it's been a bittersweet journey. The words are powerful, but also caught me staring outside my window and thinking about the dilemma Mathilde was facing: going back to her hometown village, regaining her freedom, admitting she was wrong, bearing people's judgements; or staying in Morocco, bearing the loneliness and suppression ? Whichever roas she chose, whichever country she chose, she would be staying in a country that belonged to others--And it was all decided the moment she chose to marry her husband, a Moroccan soldier in the French army.