Where the Crawdads Sing

"Marsh is a space of light"

I have added Where The Crawdads Sing to my to-read-list since last summer, and have seen many posts talking about how impressive and heartbreakingly beautiful this book is. When I finally closed the last page of this book, I felt breathless. It is beautiful indeed.

"Marsh is not swamp. Marsh is a space of light, where grass grows in water, and water flows into the sky."

This is the opening of this book, as mysterious and dreamy as the book cover. I would say the book tells a brave and bittersweet story about how Kya, the Marsh Girl, grew up in North California. She was lucky and innocent, fully grown in the nature with love and care from her mother and older siblings, everyday observing creatures and collecting features and shells. She was also unfortunate, mother and older siblings leaving because of her father's domestic violence, and leaving her alone in the Marsh. At a young age, she had to learn to survive through hard labour, her father's unsteady mood, and despises from people living in town.

I really love her stories with two boys, Tate and Chase, when Kya was in teenage years first time in love. Tate was the boy who taught her reading, showed her love and care, protected her from people's bias and judgements. Kya's romance with Tate and her nervousness and flipped heart around him were so vividly written, as if the words were bouncing from the pages and painting an oily vintage film scene with thousands of yellow leaves dancing around them in autumn. But when faced with dilemma and choosing either his love of life, innocent and living-in-wild Kya, or his univeristy life and the only chance to get out of this small town, Tate chose his future in a bigger and more modernised world. Kya's heart was abandoned in pieces and one thousand cuts (Yes, I am referring to Taylor's song now).

Chase came into Kya's life when she was drowned with loneliness. She desired to be felt, to be connected and to be included. In front of Chase' fancy lies and promises, all she ever wanted was to love like every other girl in this town. When Chase revealed his true colours, she found herself cheated, betrayed and deeply hurt, physicallt and mentally. How could she even trust anyone anymore, when what she got from pouring her innocent out was only lies, disguise, isolation and fear?

"Sunsets are never simple.

Twilight is refracted and reflected

But never true.

Eventide is a disguise

Covering tracks,

Covering lies."

The ending of this book was shocking to me. It was delicate and heartbreaking. The murder, the court, the attorney...all made the last parts of this book so different from before. Readings chaperts after chapters of how Kya was brought on court and forced to spend two months in a cell is heart-breaking. I was holding my breath while reading between pages, hoping and believing that Kya deserves an ending with peace, laughter and love. I felt genuinely happy for Kya when she finally settled down with Tate with a soft contentment and near-happiness filling her heart.

Maybe after all, inside and out, Kya is still the lonely girl walking under moonlight in isolation. If anyone understood loneliness, the moon and Kya would. "Fading moon,follow My footsteps Through light unbroken By land shadows, And share my senses That feel the cool Shoulders of silence."

The film of Where the Crwdads sing is on screen now.